


how (not) to propose: kagamine edition

by emosushi



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: F/M, Family Shenanigans, Fluff, Light Angst, Marriage Proposal, Matchmaking, all for a good cause!, i'm going to fill the kaimei tag myself if it kills me, terrible decision making, the crypton family has one braincell and they have to share it, we hope so anyway!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2019-11-06 05:37:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17933837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emosushi/pseuds/emosushi
Summary: Rin blows him a half-hearted raspberry, not looking over. “...You know what we have to do, right?”“No?” Len’s brow shoots up to new heights, a glint of guarded curiosity in his blue eyes. “I don’t think we’re supposed to do anything except forget about it.”“Fat chance.” Rin mutters, clumsily rolling over to the nightstand and rummaging around for a notebook covered with glittery calligraphy. “Just admit it, you’re thinking it too.”Len startles at the accusation, quickly redirecting his gaze back to the screen. “Thinking what?”“If he hasn’t done it by now,” Rin goes on, pausing to pull the cap off the pen with her teeth. “He’s not gonna do it at all. Not without a little nudge, anyway.”___In which Rin and Len learn about a certain love-struck fool’s plans, and decide to take things into their own capable hands.  What could go wrong?





	1. red-handed

“Are you two almost ready?”

 

Len can’t help but roll his eyes at the fourth call from upstairs he’s heard in the past ten minutes. He decides to ignore it this time around, pouring his last remaining ability to concentrate into getting his hair to stay out of his face for two precious seconds. Rin, of course, ruins this by hauling herself halfway onto the sink to re-adjust her hair clips for the tenth time that morning.

 

“Could you _move?”_

 

“Bathroom is neutral territory after twenty minutes.” Rin retorts, plucking her toothbrush out of the glass that sat next to the faucet. “Either shave some time off or shave your _head_.”

 

“But this is _my_ bathroom!” Len exclaims, jabbing his thumb into his chest as Rin dissolves into giggles next to him. “Use your own!”

 

This does nothing to deter her, as usual. She simply sticks her tongue out at him before shoving the brush between her lips, humming some bizarre tune she’d picked up from the radio the other day.

 

There’s a knock at the door not a moment later, and Len groans before he’s even seen who was on the other side. He _knows_ it’s Kaito, because Kaito _always_ makes them leave early, because he drives so _slow_ because it’s _safer_ and he wants _extra time just in case traffic is bad_ and gosh! This always happens when Meiko can’t be bothered to take them to school in the morning. An ‘important meeting’ she had to attend his _foot._

 

Kaito peeks his head in after Rin gives him the okay, finding her dancing circles around her clearly un-enthused brother who looks like he’d just stuck his head in a blender. Typical morning routine.

 

“This might as well happen.” Len mutters after a moment or two, putting the brush down at last. Kaito’s fingers perch atop his lips to presumably keep himself composed.

 

“Well, if you two are ready, we should probably head out. There’s a bit of snow on the roads and—”

 

Rin interrupts him by spitting unceremoniously into the sink, and even Len, annoyed as he is, snorts at the display.

 

After establishing that they were indeed ready, Kaito herds them up the stairs, peeking anxiously at his watch while the other hand rummaged aimlessly through his pockets. “Rough morning?” He manages, casting Len a sympathetic glance.

 

“You could say I’m having a bad hair day.” Len says, voice lacking a bit of its prior edge.

 

“Like that’s any rarity around here.” Rin teases from beside him, earning a playful elbow to the ribs. Kaito stops a few paces behind them, patting himself down in search of—

 

“Keys. Where did I put the _keys?”_ He groans, sparing one hand to run through his hair as if he’d possibly find them there. “We’re going to be late!”

 

“We normally don’t leave for another ten minutes.” Rin points out, unhelpfully. Len chimes in with a quiet, “If you can’t find them, does that mean we don’t have to go?”

 

Kaito tries for a deadpan, but he’s hardly any good at keeping a straight face. “No, you still have to go— ah, maybe in this one…” His hand emerges with the keys at last, but at the cost of several other miscellaneous objects (and maybe his dignity) plummeting to the floor in their wake. 

 

Naturally, the twins move to pick them up — definitely because they’re polite and well-mannered, and not because they’re nosy teenagers desperate for any playful jab they could make at the poor man tasked with taking them to school that morning. Rin snatches a blue pen, Len finds a neatly wrapped butterscotch candy, and both of them reach for the remaining object at the same time. Neither grab it.

 

It’s a small black box, light as a feather with a presence as heavy as a boulder. They dared not touch it past the slightest brush against the very tips of their fingers — instead, they look at it, then at each other, one thought surfacing in their heads in the time it took for them to take a collective gasp of air.

 

_“IS THAT—?”_

_“A_ _RING?!”_

 

 _“SHHHHH!”_ Kaito shushes them frantically, snatching it away from their hovering hands. “Q-Quiet, please! It’s not—”

 

“Oh no,” Rin promptly interrupts, eyes wide as an owl’s. “That’s a ring. That’s a _ring.”_

 

Kaito pales a few shades, swallowing hard. “W-We’re really going to be late—”

 

“Who is it for?” Rin demands, answering her own question not a second later. “It’s for Meiko, isn’t it!”  

 

Pocketing it quickly, Kaito shakes his head, a not-so-subtle redness flushing into his cheeks. “This is hardly the time to discuss that— and frankly, it’s none of your business!”

 

“You’re going to propose to her?” Len asks, seemingly oblivious to the poor man’s distress. “I didn’t even know you were dating.”

 

Kaito sputters at that, scrambling to cover his face. “W-We’re not! Well, I mean, not officially, maybe? We’ve never really talked about it, we just kind of— g-go out, together, a lot, but it’s— Who said it was Mei-chan, anyway?”

 

“Not even dating? And you’re just gonna ask to marry her like that?” Rin asks, a knowing grin pulling at her lips. “I suppose that’s fine if you’ve been going on your _friend trips_ since we were in diapers.”

 

“It has _not_ been that long.” Kaito huffs, then pauses to reconsider. “...I think. A-Anyway, I never said I was proposing in the first place, you’re both just making assumptions!”

 

Len throws his arms out to either side, incredulous. “What _else_ do people do with _rings?!”_

 

“I-It’s a promise ring!” Kaito exclaims, as unconvincingly as physically possible. At the look the twins give him then, he finally admits defeat, waving off the next surge of accusations before they could start spewing them. “Okay, okay, I… I am planning on it. I have been.”

 

Rin’s eyes sparkle, a shrill coo fleeing her lips. “How long, for how long? When are you going to tell her? Today?”

 

“Oh, heavens no, not today, she’s— it’s, it’s complicated.” Kaito tugs at the collar of his shirt, a fresh sheen of sweat glistening on his face. “R-Really, we should get going now, I think.”

 

“Don’t give me that, this is serious! Come on, Kaito, how long?” Rin prompts him further, and Kaito shudders out a heavy sigh at last.

 

“A long time.”

 

“Be more specific.”

 

Kaito glances away. “Months.”

 

The twins exchange a glance, thrown off by the sudden shift in the atmosphere. Quietly, Len asks, “How... many months?”

 

Kaito doesn’t answer this time, pulling the small box back out to look it over for what must have been the hundredth time. He can’t but smile down at it, it seems like — and what a sad little smile it is. “Too many, I think.”

 

It’s quiet there in the hall, race to the car abandoned. Kaito heaves a deep breath.

 

“Listen, you two,” A bit of the familiar Kaito-like sparkle is back in his eyes, however tired they look. “I know you’re excited— I am too— but please don’t tell her about this, okay?” He pauses for a moment, and they can practically see the light bulb appear over his head. “Wait, I’m an adult. You absolutely _cannot_ tell her about this, actually! That’s an order!”

 

Rin snorts. “That’s cute. I mean—” Len stops her with a frantic wave of the hand, coughing loudly into his other one. “We won’t! Promise.”

 

“Good.” Kaito smiles, tension bleeding from his shoulders. “Come on now, we’ll really be late this time. This whole thing never happened, okay?”

 

The twins nod with only the most innocent of smiles, exchanging a final, knowing look with one another. _It did. It did happen._

 

* * *

 

The first thing Rin did when they got home was flop down on the bed, sprawled out on her back and engaged in a serious staring contest with the ceiling fan. Len is quick to recognize this as her ‘thinking face’ and leaves her be, electing to procrastinate on what little homework they’d been given over the weekend by scrolling mindlessly through the comments section of some old video he’d dug up the night before. An average, quiet afternoon — or it would have been, were it not for the unspoken thoughts left to buzz in their heads like the busy bees they were. They don’t stay unspoken for long.

 

“I can’t believe this.” Rin utters after a time, draping her forearm over her eyes. “Months. Months! And I didn’t know about it.”

 

“You’re still thinking about that?” Asks Len innocently, eyeing her in his peripheral. Rin responds by blindly throwing the nearest pillow at his head. She misses.

 

“Like you haven’t been!” She huffs, sitting up and bracing her elbows on her knees. Len leans back in his chair, turning to face her fully at last.

 

“He said it never happened, didn’t he? If he’s gonna lecture me for being distracted in class, I’m not gonna tell him it was because I was thinking about his love-life.”

 

“So you were thinking about it!” Rin traps him with an accusatory finger pointed in his direction. Len returns the gesture.

 

“And? So were you, clearly!”

 

“Of course I was! This is huge!” Rin flops backwards dramatically, mattress creaking under her weight. _“_ _‘I didn’t even know you were dating’,_ huh? I can’t tell if you were joking or if you really _are_ that thick.”

 

“Yes, I knew!” Len retorts. “They’re so obvious. I was playing dumb to make him feel better, duh.”

 

“Yeah, I should hope you were.” Rin scoffs. “That idiot has been sitting on it all this time, doesn’t he know that life is short? What is he _doing?”_

 

Len hums thoughtfully, shrugging his shoulders. “He must be thinking about it a lot.”

 

“He already _bought_ the ring. I don’t think you’d buy a ring for someone you weren’t sure you wanted to marry.”

 

“True.” Len concedes, finger pressed to his lip. “Well, it’s like he said. It’s not really our business.”

 

Rin blows him a half-hearted raspberry, not looking over. “...You know what we have to do, right?”

 

“No?” Len’s brow shoots up to new heights, a glint of guarded curiosity in his blue eyes. “I don’t think we’re supposed to do anything except forget about it.”

 

“Fat chance.” Rin mutters, clumsily rolling over to the nightstand and rummaging around for a notebook covered with glittery calligraphy. “Just admit it, you’re thinking it too.”

 

Len startles at the accusation, quickly redirecting his gaze back to the screen. “Thinking what?”  

 

“If he hasn’t done it by now,” Rin goes on, pausing to pull the cap off the pen with her teeth. “He’s not gonna do it at all. Not without a little nudge, anyway.”

 

Len’s eye twitches. “That sounds like a disaster, actually. What makes you so sure he won’t do it himself?”

 

“Cause,” Rin shrugs. “he’s kind of a pussy.”

 

Len snorts obnoxiously loud, cupping his hand over his mouth to stifle the definitely-not-laughter trying to escape. Breathlessly, he asks, “And what makes you think I’m in agreement with _anything_ you just said?”

 

“Twin instinct.” Rin states, with all of the bluntness of a concrete wall. “And you have that look on your face.”

 

Len wrinkles his nose. “What look?”

 

“That look you get when you’re trying really hard not to smile, and it looks like you’re really constipated?”

 

Len deadpans. “You’re not really convincing me to be your accomplice very well.”

 

“That’s fine, I don’t need an accomplice.” Rin hums, turning the notebook around to let Len see what she’d written there. “Just a partner.”

 

Len gives it a quick glance over, hesitance only doing so much to delay the inevitable. “You’re crazy.” He says after a time, shaking his head.

 

“No,” Rin is quick to correct him, mirroring the grin that now sat snug on his face. _“We’re_ crazy.”

  
              — _PLAN A._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In all of my years of being a kaimei stan I have never once written a fic for them... so here I am! Thanks for reading if you did , I'm really excited about this fic and hope to update a lot! but being employed sucks, so we'll see . I'm also trying to be more lax with the actual writing so the style might be inconsistent. I hope it's enjoyable anyway!


	2. aim, fire, miss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes all you need is an opportunity.

              — _PLAN A._

 

“When you said you had a plan,” Len mutters under his breath, as if there were anyone nearby to overhear him. “I thought maybe you had, like, an _actual_ plan.”

 

Rin shakes her head, wagging her finger at him. “If we overthink this, we’ll end up right with _Mister Procrastination_ over there. Sometimes you just have to wing it.”

 

“Uh-huh.” Len deflates like a neglected balloon. “So, what do you have in mind?”

 

“Things only need to get complicated if the basics don’t work first. That’s a rookie mistake anyone could make.” She snaps her fingers, scribbling something down in her notebook. “ _we_ start from the bottom and work our way up. Sometimes all you need is an opportunity.”

 

“Like he doesn’t have plenty of those already.” Len says with a roll of the eyes. “I’m sure they must do _something_ to entertain themselves while we’re at school all day.”

 

“They probably nap, they’re old like that.” Rin figures, shrugging her shoulders. Len can’t really argue with that. “Anyway, you can sit this one out. It’s only going to take a second.”

 

Len perks up a bit at that, curiosity leading him out the bedroom door and up the stairs in Rin’s wake. “What are you going to do?” He whispers, slowing to a halt when Rin puts her hand out in front of him. All he gets in response is a wink — never a good sign — before she trots the rest of the way up the stairs towards her target. _Meiko._

 

Len gulps; Rin sure did have her way of tiptoeing on the line between bold and borderline _insane_ when she felt like it _._ Curiosity abandoned just enough to keep him on the stairs, but not quite so that he felt the need to retreat completely, he sits and listens.

 

“Meiko,” Rin’s voice positively oozes innocence as she taps the older woman on the shoulder, and Len can easily picture her balancing on the tips of her toes as she does so. “Kaito wants to talk to you about something, when you’re not busy.”

 

Len cups his hands over his mouth, sweat prickling uncomfortably at his skin. Well, Rin certainly _had_ gone for the most basic option — but putting Kaito on the spot like that could only end in disaster, the way things were now. Surely he’s had opportunities much more suitable in the past that he’d passed up? No way was this going to work.

 

Meiko’s voice drifts down from the kitchen, recapturing his attention quickly. “Is that so?” She asks, and Len can hear the clattering of dishes that she was likely putting away. Her tone, what did it mean? He can’t hear well enough to pick it apart like this. “Well, I’ll get to that when I see him. Thanks.”

 

Len lets out the breath he'd been holding — no questions asked, that was good. A few moments later, Rin comes back down the stairs, looking perhaps a bit too proud of herself for all the work she didn’t do.

 

(He supposes working up the nerve to blatantly lie to Meiko’s face might’ve been a job of its own, however; he won’t discredit her for that.)

 

“See? Easy.” Rin says with a whimsical twirl of her hand.

 

“I wouldn’t say it was _that_ easy. He hasn’t pro—” He halts abruptly when Rin shushes him, a reminder to keep his voice down, and he lowers to a whisper. “ _said_ it yet, so... What are we supposed to do now?”

 

“We just wait.” Is Rin’s reply, clearly as carefree as a liar could be. “There’s no reason for him _not_ to say it, and we’ve got him thinking about it. It’s the perfect plan.”

 

“I beg to differ.” Len mutters to himself, ultimately regretting that decision when he hears a faint “then beg” before the words had properly finished leaving his mouth.  

 

* * *

 

Waiting turned out to be a lot easier said than done. They couldn’t very well follow the two around all day — no way would anything happen with them standing right there — but avoiding them like the plague would surely leave them out of the loop if anything changed. No, they simply had to act natural and hope for the best.

 

It’s been a few hours since then with no tearful “I do”s or the giddy laughter of two disgustingly love-struck adults, so the twins felt it safe enough to venture upstairs for lunch. Lazy weekends called for lazy meals, and as such, cup noodles felt appropriate.

 

“I think she forgot.” Rin despairs, both elbows on the table, idly stirring the broth with her chopsticks. “Of course she’d do that. I should have put it on a sticky note or something.”

 

 _“He_ might’ve seen it then, though.” Len points out, before adding quietly, “Should we even be talking about this up here?”

 

“It’s fine, just don’t name names.” Rin assures, shoving a mess of noodles into her mouth. “Anyway, I’m already prepping our next step. I knew this one was gonna flop.”

 

Len deadpans. “You were completely confident about it, actually…” He mutters, taking a reluctant bite of his own and nearly spitting it right back out again when Kaito walks in from the other room.

 

“G’morning, Kaito.” Rin greets him, as Len struggles to collect himself. “Did you just get up?”

 

“Ah? No, I’ve been up for a long while. And it’s afternoon.” He informs her, gently.

 

“Just testing you.” Rin waves her hand, dragging a string of noodles along behind it before bringing it to her mouth. Len, at last, manages some semblance of a normal question. “What were you doing up so early on a weekend? Something important?”

 

Kaito heaves a dramatic sigh, rummaging around in the fridge. “Paperwork, laundry... taking inventory of this fridge for the grocery list! There’s a lot to do in a day, that’s just what adulthood is like.”

 

“Sounds like a nightmare.” Rin says, grinning ear to ear. Kaito pauses his search to pout at her, but opts to stay quiet, likely making a mental list seeing as he had no pen or paper on him. A completely normal and uneventful interaction — the two breathe a collective sigh of relief.

 

Until Meiko walks in, aforementioned pen and paper in hand. Len gulps down his noodles without chewing, polite smile going horribly crooked.

 

Kaito grins at her, head still inside the fridge, oblivious to the silent panic of the younger twin. “Hi, Mei-chan.”

 

“Hi, Kaito.” She sighs perhaps a little fondly at the sight, tapping the pen against the paper a few times. “What’s the verdict?”

 

Kaito begins listing off things for her to write down, as Len shuffles backwards in his chair. “...and that should get us through to next week, I think. It’s still pretty full.”

 

“Well, you _are_ standing in it.” Meiko points out, and Kaito laughs heartily at the observation. “That, I am!”

 

“Oh, they’re so bad.” Rin whispers to herself, brows furrowed at her brother across the table. “What’s with you?”

 

“We should go.” Len hisses through his teeth, broth nearly sloshing over the sides of his cup from the tremors of his hands. 

 

“We’re acting _natural.”_ Rin says, taking another leisurely bite. “We didn’t do anything wrong, so don't act like we did. _That’s_ when they’ll get suspicious. We’re fine.”

 

“Oh, Kaito,” Meiko says after a moment or two, and Len watches in mutual panic as Rin goes through the five stages of grief all at once. “What was it you wanted me for earlier?”

 

 _“Okay, not fine.”_ Rin squeaks under her breath, skillfully dancing her way around the chairs and plucking Len from his own by the sleeve. She drags him into the nearest hallway and crouches, ear pressed to the cold surface as if that would somehow help her hear better.

 

Len gulps down a wheeze. “What are you _doing.”_

 

 _“Shhh,”_ Rin shushes him with a finger. “This might be it.”

 

“Yeah,” Len whispers, cradling his head in his hands. “It for _us.”_

 

“...do you mean?” Their voices slowly make it back into earshot, and Rin drags a hand down her face. Of course. Of course he’d say that.

 

“I was told you had something to say to me.” Meiko tells him, just as bluntly as Len feared she would.

 

“Something to say…” Kaito murmurs, indistinct humming following suit. As if he doesn’t know _exactly_ what that means. “—Ah! I did want you to look over that paperwork before I sent it out tonight, actually. I think one or two might need your signature.”

 

“Is that all? I can do that,” Something in Meiko’s tone shifts, like a smile with her voice. “but you really need to stop second-guessing yourself. You’ve done it by yourself plenty of times, haven’t you?”

 

“But I never know if it’s right until you look at it!” Kaito exclaims, as Rin slumps into a heap in the next room. “I don’t want to cause trouble…”

 

His voice fades out as Rin drags herself to the sofa and flops down on it, hand still glued to her face. “That was so bad.”

 

Len seats himself on the coffee table instead, chin perched on his thumb. “Yeah, that was really bad.”

 

Rin shoots him a half-hearted glare from where she lay defeated. “You should have warned me then, doofus.”

 

“I _did.”_ Len huffs. “You didn’t even tell me what you were doing, don’t blame me.”

 

Rin sits up abruptly, pulling her notebook out from under her arm. “Fair point. Note to self, communication is key. We just got unlucky! Course he'd have some excuse prepared...” She jots something down in a few quick strokes, looking satisfied with that. “Next time will work, for sure.”

 

 _“Next time.”_ Len echoes, eyeing her with guarded expectancy. “What even  _is_ your next plan?”

 

Rin flashes him a grin, flipping her notebook around for him to look. _“Foolproof.”_

 

              — _PLAN B._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> confession time, i had this entire chapter written and drafted and then forgot to post it,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i didn't think it was long enough at the time but that's the kind of attitude that'll stop my fics in their tracks, so screw that. here's chapter 2!
> 
> I don't have an estimate for when chapter three will come out, but i have this whole fic outlined, so knowing what comes next isn't an issue. with any luck, my inspiration will stick around to see this through. see you guys next chapter!


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